A few days ago, one of my colleague asked me if what was my ultimate childhood dream? I could not answer for few minutes, and she was like “C’mon you must have something you’d like to be when you were a kid.” For sure there is, as confused as I was, I thought of it.
There was a time that I wanted to be a teacher, like my other sisters, and then at ten, I wanted to be a fashion designer, but my drawings were so bad, so I have to dropped that one. Anyway, growing up, I guess, you will eventually figure out what you want.
High school days, I was so fascinated with photography and writings, I was quite competitive back then, joining every single photojournalism contests in school, and never even once won the first place. Bummer. They say, ‘never say never’. Because it’s one big reason why I took Mass Communication. Although my Dad (Dad I love you for doing this) tried to push me into Accounting but lets just say, true friends would know how bad I am at Math. (First semester all failed, I’m seriously not good in anything, I feel) so if people ask me, what is my talent? I’ll just simply say that I’m friendly. Resume, Talent: Friendly.
Officially, I grew so much love into photography and writing in university, until all my dreams became real to me, what I really wanted to be is a to be a Film Director, to tell real stories. I dream of one day writing my own screenplay and be able to produce an Independent Film.
That’s it. That’s my dream. Seems simple to be back then until life gets into me. Adulthood, is a real thing. Before I don’t care about this, didn’t even think where am I getting my fund for this film? How am I even gonna start? Where and when can I start? Reality is not that easy.
I got a job in an events company after graduating in college, little did I know it will change the way I think and the way I see myself. I still want to be that Film Director and that screenplay writer. But I also need security for myself, and that time, all I have is that stable job, little did I know the passion I have for the things that I’d love to do is slowly disappearing.
I see my friends who struggle for a long time, stressing over work, just like us, fighting the battle that no one ever hold off. Between stability over passion? My question is, why can’t we have both? Some of us, are lucky enough to do the work they love, and some of us, just aren’t. These friends of mine inspire me everyday, to push forward and have belief.
So, I’d say, if you know what you love to do but unable to do so right now, start at something to make it happen. Right now, I am working on this WordPress, I got no readers except for my ever loyal friends, (wink to five of you, you know who you are). But that does not matter, it means I am doing something that will make me feel alive. Somehow, I find it very helpful.
I am scared that I might look back 10 years from now and realize that I did not even try. (*You don’t want to disappoint your future self like that*). Any dream, is worth the effort, the hard work and a long queue of not giving up until it happen. Some may take long, some might be happening and living the dream right now, if you are, please appreciate it and never take it for granted. I hope you find inspiration and the drive to have it fulfill, for your future self, and for that childhood dreams that were pure and meaningful.
Baby steps and start at something.
Something beautiful is on its way.
My inbox is open, my email is heidibolisayatgmaildotcom talk to me if you want to, maybe we can share the same thoughts, help each other or just simple talk.
If you’re struggling with the same, I would love to hear from you.
Till next time.