5 feet tall, Asian, full time model booker and part time in a bit of everything between writing, photography, socially active, netflix freak. Delightfully? Single at 23?
I’m sitting outside of my apartment balcony, trying to figure out what to write. First I thought, maybe I should write something about places to visit in Dubai, because let’s be honest, most people are interested in everything that is related to travel, or I could also write a continuation of my sentimental post about leaving Dubai. But then, who cares about that? Except… well. No one. Haha
So I opened my Netflix, watch an episode of Friends in Season 8 episode five, if you are a fan shout out to you, you should know this, because if not, shame on you.
It’s Friday morning and I am sitting here alone trying to entertain myself, books out,laptop, a cup of coffee, and my earphones. Somewhere between being an adult it could be fun but if you are continually doing it and it’s happening almost all your weekends then we’ve got a problem. Which me, obviously has a problem. I like to think this as my quiet time where I do something that I love to do and productive for myself but then you know what, for the first time, I feel empty. Weird as I said it.
Something is missing I guess. Something is not right. I’m 23,I thought, and I am single. Is that bad? Should I be spending my days out running with a potential boyfriend? Or lying in bed all day with him? Is that a kind of day that I should be having?
There are many blogs, posts, stories written about it being okay to be single, being okay to take time for yourself, being okay to just enjoy your own company but at this point, right now, where did I fit in all of these?
Questions. Questions. AND MANY MORE QUESTIONS TO COME.
My bestfriend called me last week, about her recent break-up with her boyfriend, and I said, that is fine. You are okay, you will be okay, you’ll get over it, and for the meantime enjoy yourself first, because you’re young. Ironic huh? How stupid am I??? How do I know that and how can I say that when I’ve been single since “I don’t remember when”.
This millenial time is fucking us up, excuse the language and sorry for blaming the generation. But it is true. You open a Facebook you see everyone posting their love and affection to their partners, either that or a bunch of stupid but really funny videos haha of people acting stupid, then you go on your Twitter, there it is, another tweet about the love birds, so I guess, you will obviously will open your Instagram too and bam!!! All the sweetest photos and captions that you could possibly think of, right in your face, still you double click the photos but deep inside you are thinking, damn when am I gonna have that?
So you tell me, is it really okay to be single at this age? Somedays yes and some days are just “nah, Maybe, it’s just one of those days you know. Because at the end of the day, I know that I am happy, I know that there’s someone out there who is meant to be for me, corny and obnoxiously funny as it sounds, but yeah, I believe in that, and I’m okay.
I guess, all these pressure that I’m putting to myself will eventually go, it’s obviously better and much fun to do some crazy fun things with a partner but if you don’t have that, still try to enjoy what you have. Got great friends around, the freedom to decide things by yourself, the luxury to enjoy your time and it’s not like we are not trying. The right person will come along.
If you are single at 20’s. That’s great! It might get lonely sometimes, but still, it is great.
It is better to be alone, than be with someone who’s just going to be with you for the sake of the ride, better to be alone, than be with someone who only loves the idea of you.