Should I feel bad that I’m single at 23?

WhatsApp Image 2018-02-23 at 3.01.26 PM

5 feet tall, Asian, full time model booker and part time in a bit of everything between writing, photography, socially active, netflix freak. Delightfully? Single at 23?

I’m sitting outside of my apartment balcony, trying to figure out what to write. First I thought, maybe I should write something about places to visit in Dubai, because let’s be honest, most people are interested in everything that is related to travel, or I could also write a continuation of my sentimental post about leaving Dubai. But then, who cares about that? Except… well. No one. Haha

So I opened my Netflix, watch an episode of Friends in Season 8 episode five, if you are a fan shout out to you, you should know this, because if not, shame on you.

It’s Friday morning and I am sitting here alone trying to entertain myself, books out,laptop, a cup of coffee, and my earphones. Somewhere between being an adult it could be fun but if you are continually doing it and it’s happening almost all your weekends then we’ve got a  problem. Which me, obviously has a problem. I like to think this as my quiet time where I do something that I love to do and productive for myself  but then you know what, for the first time, I feel empty. Weird as I said it.

Something is missing I guess. Something is not right. I’m 23,I thought, and I am single. Is that bad? Should I be spending my days out running with a potential boyfriend? Or lying in bed all day with him? Is that a kind of day that I should be having?

There are many blogs, posts, stories written about it being okay to be single, being okay to take time for yourself, being okay to just enjoy your own company but at this point, right now, where did I fit in all of these?


My bestfriend called me last week, about her recent break-up with her boyfriend, and I said, that is fine. You are okay, you will be okay, you’ll get over it, and for the meantime enjoy yourself first, because you’re young. Ironic huh? How stupid am I??? How do I know that and how can I say that when I’ve been single since “I don’t remember when”.

This millenial time is fucking us up, excuse the language and sorry for blaming the generation. But it is true. You open a Facebook you see everyone posting their love and affection to their partners, either that or a bunch of stupid but really funny videos haha of people acting stupid, then you go on your Twitter, there it is, another tweet about the love birds, so I guess, you will obviously will open your Instagram too and bam!!! All the sweetest photos and captions that you could possibly think of, right in your face, still you double click the photos but deep inside you are thinking, damn when am I gonna have that?

So you tell me, is it really okay to be single at this age? Somedays yes and some days are just “nah, Maybe, it’s just one of those days you know. Because at the end of the day, I know that I am happy, I know that there’s someone out there who is meant to be for me, corny and obnoxiously funny as it sounds, but yeah, I believe in that, and I’m okay.

I guess, all these pressure that I’m putting to myself will eventually go, it’s obviously better and much fun to do some crazy fun things with a partner but if you don’t have that, still try to enjoy what you have. Got great friends around, the freedom to decide things by yourself, the luxury to enjoy your time and it’s not like we are not trying. The right person will come along.

If you are single at 20’s. That’s great! It might get lonely sometimes, but still, it is great.

It is better to be alone, than be with someone who’s just going to be with you for the sake of the ride,  better to be alone, than be with someone who only loves the idea of you.

Love always,



Okay lang, mahal ko yung sarili ko.

Sabi nila matapang daw ako. Sabi nila ang lakas daw ng loob ko. Sabi nila bilib daw sila sakin. Hindi. Mahal ko lang yung sarili ko.

It’s been five months now since I moved here in Dubai. Can’t beleive how time flies so fast like this, the last thing I remember I was at the airport hallway, carrying a yellow envelope on my right hand, green  suitcase on the other; waving goodbye to my beloved Dad. Looking back now, five months? Not even enough for people to say how brave I am. But I appreciate it, the thing is. I’m not. I’ve been back and forth for so many times, torn between Yes I wanted this and No this is not really want I want. Most heartbreaking part is, I accepted it in the end. Because you know what? I love myself like that.

Many would disagree but all I can say is. Kapag mahal mo yung sarili mo, alam mo kung anong makakapag pasaya sayo. Kung mahal mo yung sarili mo, hindi ka mag da-doubt sa sarili mo na kaya mo. Kung mahal mo yung sarili mo, kahit ilang beses kang nagpabalik-balik sa decision mo, alam mo pa rin yung deserve mo.

Hindi naman mahirap gawin. Kailangan mo lang tanggapin na may mga bagay na hindi mo kayang gawin, at may mga bagay na ikaw lang ang may kaya. Lalo na ang tanggapin mo na may oras lahat ng bagay. Kung para sayo, para sayo. Hindi ibig sabihin na hindi para sayo hindi mo deserve. Ibig sabihin lang may mas deserving ka. Saang aspeto ba? Sa work man yan, kaibigan or love life. Minsan kasi tayo pag hindi natin nakukuha yung isang bagay feeling natin pinagkakait na. Baka naman kasi dapat paghirapan lang bago mapasayo.

Okay lang. Basta alam mo sa sarili mo, tulad ng sinabi ko kanina. Alam mo yung deserve mo.

Eto simplehan lang natin, mga bagay na dapat mo sigurong marealize, okay lang mag disagree ka: As long as nagpapakatotoo ka 

1. Accept yourself. Una sa lahat, tanggapin mo muna yung sarili mo. Bago ang lahat, ikaw yan. Yan ka na. Isa pa, wala ng iba. Ilang beses pa ba dapat ulitin na kung ano mang pagkululang ang meron ka, tanggapin mo kasi that makes you YOU.

2. Don’t depend your happiness on others. Isang pagkakamali yung sinasabi nila na “Ikaw lang makakapag pasaya sakin.Kalokohan. Nakakapag laro ka nga ng barbie mag isa noon masaya ka naman di ba? Nakuha mo pang mag bahay-bahayan kahit may nagpapanggap lang na tatay di ba? Bakit nung tumanda ka kinalimutan mo na nagawa mong mapasaya yung sarili mo kahit mag isa ka? Bakit all of a sudden yung pagiging masaya mo depende na sa iba? Point is, kaya mo naman. Baka kasi ayaw mo lang.

3. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Baka masyado mong pine-pressure yung sarili mo sa expectations ng iba. Wag. Wag mong hayaan na malamangan ka ng “disappointing ka” sa “masaya kami para sayo”. 

4. Give yourself a break. Okay lang minsan mag breakdown ka. Umiyak ka. Magpaka subsub ka sa sakit. Mag lupasay ka. Okay lang. May mga moments talaga na gusto mo lonely lang yung feeling mo the whole day, or kung minsan trip mo lang mag paka-sad sa buhay. Naiintindihan kita. Pero, again, deserve mo yung happiness. Breath ka lang. Maybe these are bad days but remember this is not a bad life.

5. Believe in yourself. Yes. Wala ng iba. Wala ng ibang tutulong sayo kundi ikaw. Sa totoong buhay, ikaw at ikaw lang talaga ang makakatulong sa sarili mo. Paniwalaan mo yung kakayanan mo, tanggapin mo yung kahinaan mo. Work hard sa mga bagay na gusto mo talaga, pag gusto may paraan. Pag binigay mo yung puso mo sa isang bagay make sure na kaya mo yung bigat. Sa totoo lang wala ng mas sasarap sa feeling na sobrang hirap pero nagawa mo, kasi nag tiwala ka sa sarili mo. Iba yon. Yun yung hindi matutumbasan ng kahit na ano. Yung nasa baba ka na, down na down na. Pero alam mo sarili mo na kaya mo at magagawa mo.

Hindi ko alam, kasi hindi naman lahat tayo parehas ng situation. Para sakin lang ha baka there’s someone somewhere who’s going  through the same thing that I did. 

Hoping at some point, it might help. I know some of my friends will. I’m here for you, no matter how big a situtaion is; life must go on and trust that everything will fall into places one day. 

Share your thoughts. I’d be happy to know what you think.

All the love that I could give,

Lmse 💖