The heartbreaks of going Abroad

A wise man, nope. Scratch that. A wise FRIEND once told me to write. Just write, write until it stops hurting…But, the problem is, I don’t know what is hurting.

It is no secret that I moved here to Dubai,  wrote a of couple insite about it, the things that I do, even the things that is keeping me out of here. What I haven’t written about is, the hurt that comes along with it.

Not being particular or anything but I will be sharing with you the heartbreaks of living abroad and why some people chose it to be this way. In my case. I am that “some people”.

You know, when we were younger, all we wanted is to be successful in life. Make a career, be famous in something, make a discovery, (nonsense) or at least be someone in general.

Some, might have achieved that elsewhere but there are still some out there trying to figure out the way out of that life.

Living abroad, means, leaving the life that you have at home, and creating  your own home somewhere else.While other say, “there is no place like home.” it’s true and I believe that. I happen to also believe that, home is not a place but rather a feeling, where you feel at ease, safe and yourself.

The heartbreak of going abroad is mixed emotions. First and foremost, you are lucky if you have a company. Could be a family, a friend or any companion. But, if you are doing this own your own like me, it could be really terrifying and probably sad at times.

When you have no one around you to comfort you the way certain people or things makes you feel back home. When you are all tired from working and coming home to an empty apartment trying to mend the feelings with takeouts. When, you had a really bad day and you just wanted to burst out but there is no one to offer you a shoulder. When special occasions that should be being celebrated with the people that you love and care about becomes a casual greetings. When there is so much going on in our life and you wanted to share those with them, but then again, there is no one around. Most of all, seeing them do and experience things without you. HEARTBREAKS.

A lot of people are telling me how brave I was for doing this. How, they admire the strength and willingness that I have. Little they didn’t know is that, I’ve been just trying to hold myself for so long. Trying so hard to hold on for something that I know someday will be worthy. I cry, when things gets so hard. On my own. When no one is around. Both hands wiping the endless tears that comes with all the heartbreaks and longingliness. I cry like a fragile thin wine glass waiting for someone to drank all my emotions and little bubbles that I have in mind. But I have to be strong for myself, I have to.

Love always,

lmse

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Time to leave you Dubai

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I couldn’t quite figure out until now after a year and a half of living here in Dubai, why on earth? Did I come here in the first place?

I remember having a plan. A vision of myself in a next few years to come. But then, where is it now?

I am going home. I feel like it is time.

I know for a fact that I will never make it here, atleast not the way I wanted to. Sure I have loved the life that I make, the memories, lessons and all the amazing places and shared culture of UAE that i’ve seen and witnessed, not to mention all the wonderful people that I met. What a journey and truly an upbringing place…But sadly not for everyone and definitely not for me.

I was too ambitious obviously. But is that too much to think of? Dubai is such a rich country, in culture, tradition and for rich people. There I said it. To be honest, I can work here in the next 10 years but it will all be the same for me. The lifestyle to live and enjoy Dubai is way too expensive. You make money here you spend it double in here, I guess that’s how it goes and that is how it will always be.

I can just imagine after 2020 what it will be like, with all these buildings and constructions, Dubai will be the next big thing, but then, what’s  next after that?

Time to leave Dubai, go home to my own country, where we don’t discriminate base on gender and nationality. Where your worth matters, the things you’ve done without being judged by your resume picture. Third world class country full of love and kindness to anyone, local or tourist.

I failed, and needs to be reminded that it is okay. So, I am going home.

I love you Dubai, with all my heart.

 

lmse

Okay lang, mahal ko yung sarili ko.

Sabi nila matapang daw ako. Sabi nila ang lakas daw ng loob ko. Sabi nila bilib daw sila sakin. Hindi. Mahal ko lang yung sarili ko.

It’s been five months now since I moved here in Dubai. Can’t beleive how time flies so fast like this, the last thing I remember I was at the airport hallway, carrying a yellow envelope on my right hand, green  suitcase on the other; waving goodbye to my beloved Dad. Looking back now, five months? Not even enough for people to say how brave I am. But I appreciate it, the thing is. I’m not. I’ve been back and forth for so many times, torn between Yes I wanted this and No this is not really want I want. Most heartbreaking part is, I accepted it in the end. Because you know what? I love myself like that.

Many would disagree but all I can say is. Kapag mahal mo yung sarili mo, alam mo kung anong makakapag pasaya sayo. Kung mahal mo yung sarili mo, hindi ka mag da-doubt sa sarili mo na kaya mo. Kung mahal mo yung sarili mo, kahit ilang beses kang nagpabalik-balik sa decision mo, alam mo pa rin yung deserve mo.

Hindi naman mahirap gawin. Kailangan mo lang tanggapin na may mga bagay na hindi mo kayang gawin, at may mga bagay na ikaw lang ang may kaya. Lalo na ang tanggapin mo na may oras lahat ng bagay. Kung para sayo, para sayo. Hindi ibig sabihin na hindi para sayo hindi mo deserve. Ibig sabihin lang may mas deserving ka. Saang aspeto ba? Sa work man yan, kaibigan or love life. Minsan kasi tayo pag hindi natin nakukuha yung isang bagay feeling natin pinagkakait na. Baka naman kasi dapat paghirapan lang bago mapasayo.

Okay lang. Basta alam mo sa sarili mo, tulad ng sinabi ko kanina. Alam mo yung deserve mo.

Eto simplehan lang natin, mga bagay na dapat mo sigurong marealize, okay lang mag disagree ka: As long as nagpapakatotoo ka 

1. Accept yourself. Una sa lahat, tanggapin mo muna yung sarili mo. Bago ang lahat, ikaw yan. Yan ka na. Isa pa, wala ng iba. Ilang beses pa ba dapat ulitin na kung ano mang pagkululang ang meron ka, tanggapin mo kasi that makes you YOU.

2. Don’t depend your happiness on others. Isang pagkakamali yung sinasabi nila na “Ikaw lang makakapag pasaya sakin.Kalokohan. Nakakapag laro ka nga ng barbie mag isa noon masaya ka naman di ba? Nakuha mo pang mag bahay-bahayan kahit may nagpapanggap lang na tatay di ba? Bakit nung tumanda ka kinalimutan mo na nagawa mong mapasaya yung sarili mo kahit mag isa ka? Bakit all of a sudden yung pagiging masaya mo depende na sa iba? Point is, kaya mo naman. Baka kasi ayaw mo lang.

3. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Baka masyado mong pine-pressure yung sarili mo sa expectations ng iba. Wag. Wag mong hayaan na malamangan ka ng “disappointing ka” sa “masaya kami para sayo”. 

4. Give yourself a break. Okay lang minsan mag breakdown ka. Umiyak ka. Magpaka subsub ka sa sakit. Mag lupasay ka. Okay lang. May mga moments talaga na gusto mo lonely lang yung feeling mo the whole day, or kung minsan trip mo lang mag paka-sad sa buhay. Naiintindihan kita. Pero, again, deserve mo yung happiness. Breath ka lang. Maybe these are bad days but remember this is not a bad life.

5. Believe in yourself. Yes. Wala ng iba. Wala ng ibang tutulong sayo kundi ikaw. Sa totoong buhay, ikaw at ikaw lang talaga ang makakatulong sa sarili mo. Paniwalaan mo yung kakayanan mo, tanggapin mo yung kahinaan mo. Work hard sa mga bagay na gusto mo talaga, pag gusto may paraan. Pag binigay mo yung puso mo sa isang bagay make sure na kaya mo yung bigat. Sa totoo lang wala ng mas sasarap sa feeling na sobrang hirap pero nagawa mo, kasi nag tiwala ka sa sarili mo. Iba yon. Yun yung hindi matutumbasan ng kahit na ano. Yung nasa baba ka na, down na down na. Pero alam mo sarili mo na kaya mo at magagawa mo.

Hindi ko alam, kasi hindi naman lahat tayo parehas ng situation. Para sakin lang ha baka there’s someone somewhere who’s going  through the same thing that I did. 

Hoping at some point, it might help. I know some of my friends will. I’m here for you, no matter how big a situtaion is; life must go on and trust that everything will fall into places one day. 

Share your thoughts. I’d be happy to know what you think.

All the love that I could give,

Lmse 💖

PINTO ART MUSEUM IN ANTIPOLO

 

 ANTIPOLO IS A NICE PLACE FOR SUMMER

Lat week my manager told me that our client will be having a photoshoot for her daughter’s  18th birthday and I said “okay photo shoot that sounds fun” but not until I found out that it will be in Pinto Art Gallery. Don’t get me wrong I have never heard about this gallery before until that day so I did what a normal person would do nowadays, searched it on Instagram find a couple of selfies I guess and there…a moment of clarity that finally I have found my love at first sight.

Pinto Art Museum is located at San Roque, Antipolo, Rizal if you were from South or North side of Metro Manila you could take the MRT going to Ortigas or Shaw Boulevard Station, take a walk to Megamall and ride an FX going to Simbahan/Antipolo then ask the driver to drop you at Ynares Sports Center so from there you could take a tricycle ride going to Grand Heights Subdivision for only 40.00 pesos, inside the subdivision is the Pinto Art Museum.

The gallery is known for its Greek style and nature vibe which is perfect for a chill yet fun date.

 

  

A lot of artists have contributed their work in this museum like Elmer Borlongan and Luis Ac-ac to give people something to be proud of and truly once you’ve enter this place all you could think of is pure joy and pride.

    

I spent half of my day in this museum yet I felt like it is not enough for me to absorb its beauty and silent. That for the first time in my work life I felt not working at all.

This is really something new to me so the sense of excitement is still there. To anyone who wish to visit this place I’d like you to take the best person you know because you are really gonna love it and this is worth sharing.

Don’t forget to try the truffle fries it’s the best.

Enjoy it while looking in the sunset view.

Three major tip if you are planning your visit already.

1. Wear a comfortable outfit that is good for this weather. Sure you don’t want anything to ruin your fun day.

2. Very important. Don’t ever forget to bring your camera. Capture everything. Take lots of photos, who cares if your cameroll is full? This is a perfect picture site.

3. Find this secret forest, you’ll be surprised.

Thanks for taking time to view this blog. I would love read your comments so leave them below. Also, I will try to give more insights on what we do in events so keep visiting this blog.

Peace and love for everyone. 😘