Okay lang, mahal ko yung sarili ko.

Sabi nila matapang daw ako. Sabi nila ang lakas daw ng loob ko. Sabi nila bilib daw sila sakin. Hindi. Mahal ko lang yung sarili ko.

It’s been five months now since I moved here in Dubai. Can’t beleive how time flies so fast like this, the last thing I remember I was at the airport hallway, carrying a yellow envelope on my right hand, green  suitcase on the other; waving goodbye to my beloved Dad. Looking back now, five months? Not even enough for people to say how brave I am. But I appreciate it, the thing is. I’m not. I’ve been back and forth for so many times, torn between Yes I wanted this and No this is not really want I want. Most heartbreaking part is, I accepted it in the end. Because you know what? I love myself like that.

Many would disagree but all I can say is. Kapag mahal mo yung sarili mo, alam mo kung anong makakapag pasaya sayo. Kung mahal mo yung sarili mo, hindi ka mag da-doubt sa sarili mo na kaya mo. Kung mahal mo yung sarili mo, kahit ilang beses kang nagpabalik-balik sa decision mo, alam mo pa rin yung deserve mo.

Hindi naman mahirap gawin. Kailangan mo lang tanggapin na may mga bagay na hindi mo kayang gawin, at may mga bagay na ikaw lang ang may kaya. Lalo na ang tanggapin mo na may oras lahat ng bagay. Kung para sayo, para sayo. Hindi ibig sabihin na hindi para sayo hindi mo deserve. Ibig sabihin lang may mas deserving ka. Saang aspeto ba? Sa work man yan, kaibigan or love life. Minsan kasi tayo pag hindi natin nakukuha yung isang bagay feeling natin pinagkakait na. Baka naman kasi dapat paghirapan lang bago mapasayo.

Okay lang. Basta alam mo sa sarili mo, tulad ng sinabi ko kanina. Alam mo yung deserve mo.

Eto simplehan lang natin, mga bagay na dapat mo sigurong marealize, okay lang mag disagree ka: As long as nagpapakatotoo ka 

1. Accept yourself. Una sa lahat, tanggapin mo muna yung sarili mo. Bago ang lahat, ikaw yan. Yan ka na. Isa pa, wala ng iba. Ilang beses pa ba dapat ulitin na kung ano mang pagkululang ang meron ka, tanggapin mo kasi that makes you YOU.

2. Don’t depend your happiness on others. Isang pagkakamali yung sinasabi nila na “Ikaw lang makakapag pasaya sakin.Kalokohan. Nakakapag laro ka nga ng barbie mag isa noon masaya ka naman di ba? Nakuha mo pang mag bahay-bahayan kahit may nagpapanggap lang na tatay di ba? Bakit nung tumanda ka kinalimutan mo na nagawa mong mapasaya yung sarili mo kahit mag isa ka? Bakit all of a sudden yung pagiging masaya mo depende na sa iba? Point is, kaya mo naman. Baka kasi ayaw mo lang.

3. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Baka masyado mong pine-pressure yung sarili mo sa expectations ng iba. Wag. Wag mong hayaan na malamangan ka ng “disappointing ka” sa “masaya kami para sayo”. 

4. Give yourself a break. Okay lang minsan mag breakdown ka. Umiyak ka. Magpaka subsub ka sa sakit. Mag lupasay ka. Okay lang. May mga moments talaga na gusto mo lonely lang yung feeling mo the whole day, or kung minsan trip mo lang mag paka-sad sa buhay. Naiintindihan kita. Pero, again, deserve mo yung happiness. Breath ka lang. Maybe these are bad days but remember this is not a bad life.

5. Believe in yourself. Yes. Wala ng iba. Wala ng ibang tutulong sayo kundi ikaw. Sa totoong buhay, ikaw at ikaw lang talaga ang makakatulong sa sarili mo. Paniwalaan mo yung kakayanan mo, tanggapin mo yung kahinaan mo. Work hard sa mga bagay na gusto mo talaga, pag gusto may paraan. Pag binigay mo yung puso mo sa isang bagay make sure na kaya mo yung bigat. Sa totoo lang wala ng mas sasarap sa feeling na sobrang hirap pero nagawa mo, kasi nag tiwala ka sa sarili mo. Iba yon. Yun yung hindi matutumbasan ng kahit na ano. Yung nasa baba ka na, down na down na. Pero alam mo sarili mo na kaya mo at magagawa mo.

Hindi ko alam, kasi hindi naman lahat tayo parehas ng situation. Para sakin lang ha baka there’s someone somewhere who’s going  through the same thing that I did. 

Hoping at some point, it might help. I know some of my friends will. I’m here for you, no matter how big a situtaion is; life must go on and trust that everything will fall into places one day. 

Share your thoughts. I’d be happy to know what you think.

All the love that I could give,

Lmse đź’–

DAWN OF A NEW BEGINNING

Aloha lovelies!

Being in an event company means having to work on Sundays and even holidays. There’s no definite time of hours, no break,  only ten cup of coffee and a rewarding feeling after you’ve accomplished your work. It is really a tough job that I have to give all my patience and energy for me to succeed in something. With it, is also the undying pleasure of failures and sometimes, I mean most of the time I feel like a walking zombie… alive but dead. Despite all the pain and madness I know that by far this is the most rewarding moment of life and I am grateful for it not only it made me stronger but it showed me the braver version of myself.

Allow me to take you in this journey and let me show you how a concept became an event. I am Little Miss Special Events and I don’t know what I’m doing.

Next on my journey:

Pinto Art Museum
Pinto Art Museum

Ria @ 18 shoot for winter in May.