A wise man, nope. Scratch that. A wise FRIEND once told me to write. Just write, write until it stops hurting…But, the problem is, I don’t know what is hurting.
It is no secret that I moved here to Dubai, wrote a of couple insite about it, the things that I do, even the things that is keeping me out of here. What I haven’t written about is, the hurt that comes along with it.
Not being particular or anything but I will be sharing with you the heartbreaks of living abroad and why some people chose it to be this way. In my case. I am that “some people”.
You know, when we were younger, all we wanted is to be successful in life. Make a career, be famous in something, make a discovery, (nonsense) or at least be someone in general.
Some, might have achieved that elsewhere but there are still some out there trying to figure out the way out of that life.
Living abroad, means, leaving the life that you have at home, and creating your own home somewhere else.While other say, “there is no place like home.” it’s true and I believe that. I happen to also believe that, home is not a place but rather a feeling, where you feel at ease, safe and yourself.
The heartbreak of going abroad is mixed emotions. First and foremost, you are lucky if you have a company. Could be a family, a friend or any companion. But, if you are doing this own your own like me, it could be really terrifying and probably sad at times.
When you have no one around you to comfort you the way certain people or things makes you feel back home. When you are all tired from working and coming home to an empty apartment trying to mend the feelings with takeouts. When, you had a really bad day and you just wanted to burst out but there is no one to offer you a shoulder. When special occasions that should be being celebrated with the people that you love and care about becomes a casual greetings. When there is so much going on in our life and you wanted to share those with them, but then again, there is no one around. Most of all, seeing them do and experience things without you. HEARTBREAKS.
A lot of people are telling me how brave I was for doing this. How, they admire the strength and willingness that I have. Little they didn’t know is that, I’ve been just trying to hold myself for so long. Trying so hard to hold on for something that I know someday will be worthy. I cry, when things gets so hard. On my own. When no one is around. Both hands wiping the endless tears that comes with all the heartbreaks and longingliness. I cry like a fragile thin wine glass waiting for someone to drank all my emotions and little bubbles that I have in mind. But I have to be strong for myself, I have to.